What if..

One questin
What if you get the chance to go back and fix one mistake??
Only one..
What would it be?

Regards..
just rando thoughts after a tiring sleepless night..
Till nxt time

I Love You... (Short story)

(Honey ,I'm home!)
He smiled to himself.(Honey ,I'm home).
It was a cliche'. Nevertheless, he kept saying it every time he entered his..no.."THEIR" home..
He dropped the keys in the small pink basket on the table ,the one she bought him because "The only thing that will catch your attention and make you put the keys in the right place, is PINK, knowing how much you hate it"....He smiled again..As usual ,she was right.He hadn't misplaced his keys since She gave him that basket..
He walked in, looked at her face..
She was there in her usual place, with her usual little smile. He was thinking of how much he loved that smile..
(Sweetie, I have great news)
She said nothing, he continued as if he didn't notice. He was so excited .
(You remember the project I told you about? Guess what? I it was approved...We have to celebrate)
He walked towards her, looked into her eyes, and touched her face, gently, with the tips of his fingers.
( You told me I will. Even when I doubted myself, you never did!)
He looked at her face for sometime. She was happy, he could tell.
He laughed and rubbed his hands together:
(I know ,I know..You told me so...You were right. And of course I was wrong!)...
He walked around the room. He felt her kind eyes following him. He was beaming.
(Yes, we have to celebrate..Any thoughts?)
He looked at her expectedly , then frowned a little..
(What is that?)
He walked towards her, looked closely at her face..
( Oh, I am sorry! My bad!)
He took that piece of cotton cloth ,and started wiping the glass surface, removing the smudges his fingertips left..
He looked at her face again. The last picture that was taken before she passed away 27 months and 14 days ago. She died suddenly. She was there, then, she was not.
He thought they had all the time in the world.
He looked at the face he loved. He still loves..
(You asked me once: will you always love me?...I never answered)
He looked into her eyes again
He whispered:
(I love you)
...............................................................................

Her....(Short story)

(Idiot)

She said so loud ,her own voice in the empty room startled her..

She stared to her computer screen for another minute ,the sighed and stood up...

Looking down to her dog .He was ,as usual ,panting ,with his tongue out of his muzzle..He was looking at her with his brown ,adorable eyes...She felt calm instantly.

(You agree ,don't you) ,she told him

He barked once ,and wagged his tail enthisiatically,and took one step closer to her.

She smiled

(of course you agree ,because you are such a good boy ,aren't you?)

he barked again ,and stood on his hind legs for an instant..

She laughed .It was a genuine one..

(oooo ,I think some body wants a treat)

He kpt looking at her , she thought she saw sparkles in his eyes..She knew he understood her perfectly..and she smiled again..but this time her smile was sad..

(If people were this simple . A treat would fix everything) she told her self..

She shifted her eyes to her computer screen again.

This time her gaze was distant..She wasn't really looking at the screen.It seemed like she was looking at something beyond it..

Her dog looked at her for a second ,lowered his head and rested it on his paws ,still looking at her..

(only if....) , she whispered...

on the screen ,she wasn't seeing the words any more..

The reflections on the screen hypnotized her..

She saw flash backs from her life..

Her childhood and teen years .Her choices ,and her achievements..

Then her eyes fell on the words on the screen again ,and she sighed..

She tried ,this much she knew..She would take a chance if she could ..But she wasn't sure..

Her eyes ran over the lines again..This is stupid..

(you win) ,she whispered..

Then she looked down at her dog ,who looked back..

she smiled at him..

(I think he'd like you if he met you)

Her dog barked quitely..

Her smile widened

and she looked back to her screen..

Tomorrow is another day ,she thought..

And sighed again

The End

Memoirs Of A Lone Drifter..(For the record: No thing to do with me)

(P.S: this is an attempt of creative writing in English..It is filled with mistakes ,mis-spellings ,disconnected thouhts and heavy load of boring stuff .Consider your self warned)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He walked..

He'd been walking for eons, it feels. He forgot when he started ,or where his journey started ,and he didn't care. He was here , and that was enough for.

........

He crossed leagues. 

He stopped. Looked back at all the plains ,the hills ,the rivers he crossed..

Then he looked ahead...More plains were there..More hills and rivers..

He knew he had to cross them.

He sighed ,shrugged ,and started walking again..

.........

He was tired alright ,but he came so far to stop now. Not now ,not at this stage of his journey..

He assumed he was in the midway to his destination .He couldn't remember his destination any more ,but by now he knew it was the journey that matters ,not the destination..

(A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step)

He smiled ,looked down at his worn out shoes. How many miles had he crossed so far?

He didn't know ,and again ,he didn't care..

..........

He thought of those he had to leave behind..

Those who loved him unconditionally ,and he loved them back..But he had to leave them ,out of love.

For this ,he cared..

...........

His journey was not a lonely one..

He had companions along the way. People whom he trusted with his life. They never let him down, but they ,like him, had their own journeys. Their own plains to cross. Their own rivers..

They were away. But they were there..This much he knew..

And that was enough

..........

He lied down on the dew wet grass..

He was gazing at the Moon..

The shiny ,scarred, beautiful silver disc ,like a sad face floating in the sky..

Was that light only a reflection of the Sun? All that sad beauty? .He thought that was possible ,but this didn't diminish the magic of the moment..

Then he shifted his gaze to the stars..

With their cold blue light ,like diamonds on violet velvet..

They were different from the ones he used to watch at the beginning of his journey..

He used his imagination, connecting the stars. 

He was looking at a face. A familiar one he knew so well for all his life.The face was looking at him. Sad. Broken..

He kept his eyes on the stars for so long ,before he closed his eyes and went to sleep..

He never knew it ,but he cried in his sleep.

.........

He was walking again..

His shadow ,casted by the silver moonlight ,was in front of him.

He smiled ,it occurred to him that it looked like he was chasing his own shadow. He thought that was a race he was definitely going to lose. The thought  was so ridiculous ,he started laughing.

Then there was that noise from behind the bushes..

He didn't turn his head..

He knew what he would see if he did.

They followed him from the beginning. With their yellow ,bright ,sick eyes and shapeless dark bodies, twisted in impossible ways..

His demons..

He used to fear them. They always came for him at his weakest. To feast on his fears ,his darkness ,his restlessness and his doubts.

But he didn't fear them anymore..

He accepted them now ,as a part of his journey ,a part of him. He hated them ,but they were there. So better to live with that. It was an ongoing battle he knew he couldn't win ..But he definitely wouldn't allow himself to lose. A draw was fine with him

........

He ,again, looked forward..

Long was his way ,

Something was always waiting around the corner..

A caring face maybe. 

A helping hand..

More rivers.

Larger plains,

Higher, more rugged hills,

He didn't know anymore where his path lead.

He just enjoyed the moment.

.........

Till next time

A.

Curse of The Butterfly: The Things We Do

Years ago ,I heard of some thing called (Chaos Theory) . Then ,I heard of (The Butterfly Effect),a part of the Chaos Theory, which describes the concept of: sensitive dependence on initial conditions. To put it as simple as possible ,it is about how apparently small ,insignificant events can lead to major changes in out comes..

I started reading about this and I became fascinated with the applications of this theory in different fields of science, and in our every day lives as well..

The simplest explaination of this theory was to imagine how a butterfly's wings might create tiny changes in the atmospher that may ultimately alter the path of a tornado or delay, accelerate or even prevent the occurrence of a tornado in a certain location.

Then I started to think more about it(as usual ,not a very good thing)

All these small events in our lives ,small things we thought were insignificant ,negligible ,and small..But yet ,it turned out that these (small things) were to define our lives..

It is being slightly late and missing a life defining appointment by 5 minutes..

It is chosing to go right instead of left..

It is the phone call you never understood its significancce till years later ,and till it was really late..

It is the (yes) you so desperately wanted to hear ,but wasn't meant to you..

And it is the (no) you had to say ,because it was the right thing to do ,and yet ,it was always the thing you regret..

It is the ability to love

and the inability to forgive..

It is the ambition.

The determination.

The unique and deep friendships

The care..

The passion..

The hate..

The fear..

It is the people around us with their small problems ,although their problems are the world for them..

It is every thing that we are that shapes our lives..It is not the major things..Not the big things..Not the great things that make what we are..It is the small things..

It is the butterfly effect..

Till next time (With hopes that next b log will not cause you to sleep on your keyboards)

Benghazi Citizen

222: Again

I really couldn't help it..

I had to do it again ,a habbit it is..a strong one too..

A lot happened since last year's 222.

New life away from home ,new challanges ,new steps..

A lot has changed ,but a lot more stayed the same..

This is for the past ,whose regrets will always haunt us.

For the present ,whose uncertainity will always shadow us.

And for the future ,for the hope it caries will always inspire us..

Till next time

B.C